update and some old stuff

So. Remember how I was telling you that if the baby hadn't turned around by Tuesday they were going to schedule a c-section for me? Well I'll be durned! She turned! No c-section for me unless some unexpected complication necessitates it. Now it's just a waiting game. 21 days until my due date (as if that really means anything...I could go at any time).

We toured the Labor & Delivery floors this weekend. The birthing suites have hardwood floors! Unfortunately I'm pretty sure you only spend enough time in this room to pop out your baby before you are whisked away to a less schmancy room. There are two rooms with jacuzzi tubs, and they're first come, first serve. I want one SO BAD. Please pray for me to go into labor during the middle of the night or something. I've heard jacuzzis are heaven for laboring. Oh God. I have to labor. Though I must say for some reason I'm a lot more open to laboring with an epidural.

Now, onto the old stuff!

I'm cleaning up my computer at work because I don't want to leave anything personal behind. There are some things I wrote that I never posted here or when I was doing regular stuff at Sevens. It seems like a waste to just delete them even though they aren't anything spectacular. Filler, if you will. Filler that is not about being pregnant.
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Betcha Didn’t Know

I’m a sucker for trivia. I like knowing things mostly unknown by the general public. Oh, twas a happy day when I discovered a stockpile of such trivia at imdb.com. In just about every entry in the database, there is a trivia section including little known facts about the movie, tv show, or documentary. Let’s get old school for a second, because the older the school, the greasier the grilled cheese sandwiches, and you’re a liar if you claim you didn’t eat them (and love them).

A few gems I betcha didn’t know about…

…Saved by the Bell:

- Jennie Garth auditioned for the role of Kelly Kapowski, as did Elizabeth Berkley, and though the producers thought both were wrong for the part, they like Elizabeth so much they created the role of Jesse just for her.
- Lisa Turtle was written as a white Jewish girl, but after meeting Lark Voorhies the producers changed their minds.
- SBTB was originally called “Good Morning, Miss Bliss,” back when they were all in middle school (remember Haley Mills?) and when they were developing the pilot they were considering casting Jaleel White, Jonathan Brandis, and Brian Austin Green. What’s with the 90210 cast theme?
- Mark Paul Gosselaar isn’t (and wasn’t) a blond. He dyed his hair every two weeks. Why do I feel cheated now that I know that?

…90210 (it was a natural progression):

- Deep breaths! Really! What I’m about to tell you is shocking. Dylan was only supposed to be on for two episodes. Obviously the producers felt the Earth move as millions of teenage girls swooned at once and decided Dylan was a keeper.
- The role of Valerie was offered to Alicia Silverstone, but she turned it down. Can you even imagine? She just doesn’t, and never did, have the bitch-tastic fortitude to play that role. Then again, who’d have guessed Kelly fucking Kapowski had it either?
- Tori Spelling wasn’t listed as part of the main cast in the pilot. I guess her daddy feared the nepotism backlash before it even began.
- Brandon Walsh is also Josh Brolin’s character’s name in The Goonies.

Honestly, I was hoping for more from imdb about 90210. What, no gossip about fighting amongst the cast? No juicy tidbits about the despicable Brenda Walsh? For shame! There was more trivia, but who really cares if the Walsh house changed locations after the pilot? Though in all fairness, perhaps this entire list falls under the Who Really Cares category.

…Family Ties:

- Michael J. Fox threw in the “P.” part of Alex P. Keaton in his audition, and the writers loved it. Fox almost didn’t get the part because NBC execs thought it wasn’t believable that Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross would have such a short son.
- The premise for the series came from the producer’s own experience of living a hippie lifestyle and then settling into suburban life with his wife and having children.
- The cast wanted the series to end with the entire family dying in a plane crash so that they’d never have to do a reunion show.

…The Facts of Life:

- was the longest running show with an all-female lead cast!
- the role of Tootie wasn’t written as an African-American, it just so happened that Kim Fields had the best audition.
- In the first season, there were seven main characters. By the second, they’d cut three girls (including Molly Ringwald) and decided to make the series focus on adolescent issues instead of fluffy humor.
- Blair was supposed to lose her virginity first, but Lisa Whelchel refused to participate because of her religious beliefs (she’s a total Jesus Crispy!*) so they had Natalie get some instead, giving hope to chubby chicks everywhere. It’s the only episode that Blair doesn’t appear in.
- Tootie was always wearing roller skates in the first season because it made her look taller (she was only nine and played a twelve-year-old).
- Nancy McKeon joined the cast in the second season only after proving she could act tough AND cry on cue. Who didn’t love Jo? Who couldn’t quite put their finger on why it was weird to see her with a boyfriend?
*If you’re not already familiar with the term Jesus Crispy, just imagine those people on the street that try to strike up normal conversations with you and then suddenly ask you if you’ve been saved and then get kind of mean and say “you’re going to hell if you don’t accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior!” when you walk away. They are Crispy because they are totally fucking burnt out on some Jesus.

…Growing Pains:

- Julie McCullough, who played Mike Seaver’s fiancée, was fired at Kirk’s request for posing in Playboy; he had a religious awakening between the 1989-1990 seasons and became a big fuckin’ prude. After his little awakening he became such a pest about removing all “adult” themes from Growing Pains that several writers quit the show.
- Kirk Cameron is a fucking tool. If I’d only known I wouldn’t have hung so many Tiger Beat pictures of him above my bed at summer camp. If I’d known there’s no way Kirk would feel me up if we ever met because of GOD I’d have replaced his mug on my wall with the much naughtier Johnny Depp, who was burnin’ up the screen in 21 Jump Street at the time. Anyway. Onward.
- Maura Tierney admitted to being fired from the show. I didn’t even know she was on it. Must go investigate. You do not fire Maura Tierney, aka The Only Reason to Continue Watching ER.
- Tracey Gold and the anorexia blah blah missed almost a whole season because of it yada wouldn’t even take a bite of pizza in the last episode of the series BLAH. Don’t know where this apathy comes from regarding Tracey Gold but all of a sudden I’m mad that I even looked Growing Pains up.

And finally, to redeem myself…

…Roseanne:

- Alicia Goranson (the original Becky) left the show to attend Vassar and study poetry. Sara Gilbert also left to attend college, but she was able to work around school. When Alicia came back for the ninth season Darlene says “Where the hell have you been?” when she walks into the kitchen.
- All of the exterior shots were filmed in Evansville, IN.
- Alicia requested a shorter hairstyle for Becky and the producers turned her down, so she went to Roseanne for help with her plight and Roseanne cut her hair off right then and there. (Alicia has a blog! How normal!)
- Corn, the vegetable, is mentioned or shown in every single episode in some form or another.
- All three of Roseanne’s husbands made guest appearances on the show.
- Tom Arnold hated one particular shirt that Roseanne wore, so much so that it never appeared on the show while they were married. After their divorce, it made an appearance in every episode, usually in the laundry. It was also used as a pattern for the apron Roseanne wore at the diner and on a poster in the diner as well. I’ve never noticed this Rooster and Egg shirt/pattern, but I’ll be looking for it now!
- The show’s original title was “Life and Stuff.”
- There was a naked picture of George Clooney on the Connor’s refrigerator for many years, his nether regions covered only by a pair of goggles, until it mysteriously disappeared one day. It was totally Crystal.

nope, not about pregnancy!

Just a few thoughts:

- Have you watched JT's concert special on HBO? If you have to ask who JT is, probably not. I watched most of it the other day, and damn that boy is foyne. So cute. (Why did I watch only most of it? Micah came home and I felt like I had been caught, somehow, and I turned it off. The drooling gave me away, huh?) It was about time for JT to make a little comeback, show those moves and bust out the most masculine falsetto imaginable. He's the only person who can pull off white shoes with a dark suit, which, skillz. Even though lately the tabloids have been saying he's kind of rude and arrogant, I couldn't care less. And the Jessica Biel thing? Hawt.

- Have you watched Californication on Showtime? You should. David Duchovny is precious. Though you will feel squicky when you realize the teenage nympho is the daughter from The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Have you watched Tell Me You Love Me on HBO? You should. It will make you feel like you have the best relationship in the universe.

- I'm glad I'm apparently not the only one who feels bad for BritBrit. I want to see her make a comeback and I believe she can, provided she gets her head out of her cooch. Her head, by the way, is the #1 issue she should be dealing with (aside from the bebes, I guess). Why the fuck can't she rock the short hair? A sharp blond bob, perhaps? How can someone that rich have such terrible extensions? And have you seen her delicate wig dancing? Totally afraid that mug is going to fly off. Ugh. Now I'm getting all worked up. Leave Britney alone! (If you don't get that reference, you should watch The Soup a little more. Or look it up on youtube.)

- How excited am I that Knocked Up came out on DVD yesterday? I never made it to the theater when it was out even though everyone told me to go see it. Shit, was that about pregnancy?

- If you're out there, Hei-Ho The Dairio, have you watched the new crosswords gameshow on the WB? If they shoot it in LA, you should go be a contestant. Really. Silly not to.

- Ha ha, remember awhile ago when I was bragging about my grades? Turns out I had some very easy-to-please professors that term. I think some professors might grade on how well you do compared to the rest of class and others compare you to, I dunno, standards of excellence. I'm doing well this term, but when I got a 93 on a paper (whereas last term all I had to do was spell my name correctly and get 100), I was furious. I'm such a brat. I got spoiled by subjective professors when I what I really needed was for someone to challenge me. Fucking christ, did I just say that?

- I am taking a term off after the baby comes, but I would like to start reading again to keep my brain busy. Do you have any suggestions for me? I'm not ashamed to admit I have preordered Rosie's new book. Also on the way is an Anne Lamott book because I've heard great things about her and just found out she has a book about life after childbirth. I've wanted to read The Corrections forever, so maybe I'll do that. Even though the title scares me, I've heard Eat, Pray, Love is good. Anyway. Recommendations for me?

put down the knife and go eat another cookie, preggers

Ugh. This has become the most boring blog. (Way to keep new visitors, Gab!) I feel like it's just an endles stream of pregnancy updates. I'm so sick of being pregnant. Eventually it hijacks your body and takes you on the most fucked up ride...get me off. I'm getting nauseous. No really, I've been getting nauseous again, in the ninth month of all times! See what I mean? Get me off.

Pregnancy has done some ugly things to me, and I have been pregnant for almost all of 2007, so I am really feeling like one tragic bitch rightaboutnow. The weather refuses to dip below 85 no matter how much I beg it to. Copious sweat and a general inability to move effectively have rendered me the most awkward, feisty, hazardous bitch. I will cut you. (When I am not busy bumping my poor baby into walls. The Clumsy hath taken over.) Everything makes me mad or makes me cry. I've had four crying jags in the last twelve hours. I cry because I'm scared. I'm also overwhelmed, nervous, and mourning the loss of my not-a-mom self. I've said it before, but I find pregnancy to be terribly alienating. I cry because nobody understaaaands meeee, waah. I cry when I don't want it to end because I'm afraid of the responsibility. Then I cry because I am just so fucking excited to meet my baby and it's an intensely moving thought. I know she's beautiful and amazing, and I want to adore her. Also, you can only clip so many tags before you want to fill the clothes with a baby, already! Ready. Not ready. Toss in a generous handful of pregnancy hormones and I am just a peach. The most wobbly, mealy, scarily fuzzy peach you ever did meet.

Wow, this is kind of like therapy.

This coming Tuesday at my doctor's appointment we'll find out if she's still breech; if she is, they are going to plan my c-section sometimes during my 39th week. This both relieves and horrifies me. On one hand, I get to shave a week off of pregnancy, and I will be able to tell everyone when she's coming and no one will be caught off guard. Everyone will be where they want to be and I can also ask certain people to come on certain days so there isn't a deluge. Such a control freak's dream. On the other hand, I will now be partially responsible for picking Sasha's birthday. This freaks me out, as I feel I am messing with fate. Such an astrological devotee's nightmare. So what I'm really hoping will happen, quite honestly, is that we pick a date and then I go into labor before that date comes. (Like on October 8. That would rock.)(What? I can throw some favorites out there!)

That's all for now. I'm going to go hang out with my husband because he's working sixteen hours tomorrow and I'm going to miss him. I think I'll do a little anniversary-related post soon, possibly with recently obtained video footage from our reception last year! (Thank you M&N, that was a fucking awesome surprise). If I can figure out how the hell to put it on a blog. Good night and good luck.

i'm not picking up what you're putting down

A most interesting conversation, at least to me:

(the scene: a couple married one year (today! is! their anniversary!) have been playing the lottery lately and have gotten sort of addicted to the idea of winning.)

"I would totally hire a maid if we won. God, that would be awesome," says Gabby.
"What? You would? No way. We don't need a maid," replies Micah.
"Ummm, I disagree. Who couldn't use a maid? I bet even a maid would like a maid."
"No way. I'm not letting some stranger come clean our house."
"Oh, please. What do you think will happen? If they steal from you they're jeopardizing their income. Besides, you can just hire one of those services where a bunch of maids come in and do the job in like thirty minutes. Those places have insurance. They can't just flee the country with our...what, exactly? My computer that weighs eighty-five pounds and runs on gerbils? Or maybe my $99 digital camera that looks like a toy and can't zoom." Gabby laughs a little too loudly and waits for some sort of equally profound reply.
"It's just ridiculous to hire a maid."
"I disagree."
"That's because you had a maid when you were younger."
"Maid service. It's not like we a had a live-in or anything. You think we were that rich?"
"Whatever. I just...I can think of a billion better things to spend our money on."
"Really. Because I'm kind of thinking that is the best reason to get rich. So you can hire a maid."
"You must be joking."
"Nope. What's wrong with spoiling yourself rotten if you can?"
"How is having a maid spoiling yourself?"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
"I don't want a stranger cleaning up after us."
"Wow. You know, if we won the lottery and you had something you'd just love to do with the money, I would never stop you. Whatever your newly rich heart desired."
"I'd hire a chauffeur."
"WHAT?!"
"That would be a much better way to spend the money. It's so much safer! And if anything happens, like a speeding ticket or an accident, it's not your fault! It's the chauffer's!"
"OH MY GOD. You think hiring a maid is ridiculous but a chauffeur is perfectly acceptable? Unbelievable. You are unbelievable."
"You can get trashed and never worry about who will drive!" Micah is now laughing meniacally like he's the first person to ever think this thought. Gabby, however, is having none of that.
"Dude, there is no fucking way I'm going to win the lottery, buy a few fucking ridiculous new cars, and then pay someone else to drive them! Fuck that noise! If you have a chauffeur I'm totally getting a maid."

So the question is: what would you buy with lottery money? What luxury would you indulge? What

no pasa nada

I'm just checking in. I don't have much to say. I've been seriously lazy and craving sweet food like crazy. I daydream about donuts, homemade gooey butter cake, fruit & chocolate fondue, and french toast. It's bad. The only exception to this is the Pot & Kettle "sandwich" from a local bar/restaurant. It's a thick slice of white bread smothered with pot roast and topped with mashed potatoes and gravy and GOOD GOD, I can't get enough. I've already asked Micah if he will bring me some in the hospital after I have this baby.

Six weeks to go. Seems like nothing, but I also hope it goes fast. Not too fast, just fast enough. I'm doing absolutely everything I feel like doing because I know in six little weeks my life will be all about a baby. That means the hedonism is flowing pretty freely right now. I keep thinking "oh, go ahead and do it...soon you won't be able to!" Best reason ever.

We've set up the Pack n Play baby bed/play area/changing table thingy in the bedroom. I've taken tags off of the baby clothes we've received so far because I have to wash them all in special baby detergent before she arrives. I've been brought to tears because the dog discovered one of the baby's adorable new slippers, which he carried around the house and threw around a bit before I found him. It was dirty, but nothing a little Woolite in the kitchen sink couldn't fix. It'll be very interesting to have a young and mouthy dog AND all the soft and inviting toys that accompany a baby.

Everytime I claim to have nothing to write about, I squeek out some paragraphs, huh?