The first postpartum shit will be a nightmare. Harder than childbirth.
If you're breastfeeding, you might wake up from a nap totally soaked and sticking to your shirt.
The baby will shit moments after you change a diaper. If you hear/feel pooping, wait a few minutes before changing.
Baby farts are just as loud as full-sized human farts.
Breastfed baby shit is virtually unstinky.
Why would anyone want to bottle-feed if breastfeeding was an option? I can't imagine having to prepare a bottle as soon as the baby is hungry.
You might just be ready for sex much sooner than you thought.
Cabin fever is a bitch, especially when your favorite season has just begun. You could gather the babe and the dog for a walk, but that takes energy that two hours of sleep per day does not provide.
Damn, do you miss your bed. And snuggling with your fella. And sleep in general.
10.29.2007
10.26.2007
back, y'all
So, I had a baby! Soon I'll sit down and write out the whole birth story. I want to have the details all written down for posterity. What an experience. It actually feels quite bizarre to try and even begin to tell a story about having a baby. Oh my god. Right now I'll just share a couple of pictures.
The picture quality kind of sucks because I had to scan these. I have tons of pictures on my digital camera but I can't find the cord. Maddening.
Please note the hellacious haircreature on the back of my head. That there is the result of 24 hours confined to a bed. And, you know, laboring. I wish someone had thought to tell me about this situation before I let them take plenty of pictures.
The picture quality kind of sucks because I had to scan these. I have tons of pictures on my digital camera but I can't find the cord. Maddening.
Please note the hellacious haircreature on the back of my head. That there is the result of 24 hours confined to a bed. And, you know, laboring. I wish someone had thought to tell me about this situation before I let them take plenty of pictures.
10.12.2007
the homestretch. seriously.
Wow. Nine months coming to a close.
Things I will be happy to be able to do again:
- Do dishes without soaking my entire front.
- Cook without soiling my entire front.
- HAHA I was just about to say "sleep through the night without waking to pee three times." I'm such a dumbass sometimes.
- Eat sushi. Lots of it.
- As much as I loathe admitting it, smoke a cigarette. I miss them. I hate that I miss them.
- GET KNEE-WALKIN' DRUNK. If that's even still possible. Most likely I'll just fall asleep.
- Have sex without thinking about a squashed baby or feeling like a squashed ham.
- Eat a tasty sandwich loaded with all kinds of dangerous deli meat!
- Bend at the waist.
- Shave properly.
- Live without the organ kicking. Shit hurts sometimes.
Things I will miss about being pregnant:
- Walking around without trying to suck in my belly. Letting it all hang out has been liberating.
- Using the Expectant Mother parking spot at the grocery store. They need them at Target. I think I'll write a letter.
- Thicker hair.
- The organ kicking. It's nice sometimes.
----------------------------------------------------
It's not 100% official, but it looks like Sasha will be born on Tuesday the 16th. My doctor would like to induce me, as long as everything looks good to go on my appointment on Monday.
Commence to freaking the fuck out!
When I was told I would have to have a c-section because she was breech (she's since turned, but I think you knew that) I had to get used to the idea that the relaxed, hippie birthing I'd been studying was not going to happen for me. I read up on epidurals so I felt more educated about the inevitable procedure. Now that I have a chance at natural birth again, I feel less tied to the pain-free concept. I am really going to give it my all and hold off as long as I can. If that ends up being the whole time, well fuck if I ain't woman, hear me roar. But if whatever methods I've been reading about aren't working so well, I will take the epidural and run with it. Or...be paralyzed by it. Whatever. I think the most important thing is that I don't have expectations because you know what they say about the best-laid plans.
Today is my last day at work. I will miss marking days off my calendar and getting paid to read blogs. Getting this job was fairly serendipitous for me, a lucky string of events that lead me to a job that pays a lot for what the duties actually are. Not that I'm rich, but I will definitely miss the money. But I am looking forward to not having anything to do but take care of my baby and maybe do some dishes.
Today I get to eat my last-day mint. Not long after I found out I was pregnant, I lifted my keyboard and found Baskin-Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip candy. I put it in my pen caddy thing and decided I would eat it on my last day here. I'm weird. After my boss retired I wasn't sure how long I'd be here, so it was kind of exciting - would I get to eat the mint soon? Weeks? Months? I'm so bored here, I participate in mental games with myself. So today, I get to eat the mint. I'll pop it in my mouth as I shut down my laptop for the time being (technically they can still call me for a few hours' work here and there until December) and then I'll suck happily on it while I pull out of the parking lot and head home. Or maybe I'll crunch the fuck out of it before I even get down the stairs.
Another oddity - my favorite work pen. I found this rather normal, unassuming pen in my desk drawer last year. I like the way the rubber on it feels a bit velvety, and the ink is just as smooth. It has no brand on it, it's been mysteriously rubbed off, so I can't search for more. There will never be another My Pen. Well, when I discovered how much I love this pen, I opened it to see how much ink was in it. Not much, maybe 1/3 full. How long would it last?! When would I have to throw it away?! Please lord, let it last me until I'm done here. And you know what? Creepily, it just ran out today. No shit. It's just so damn perfect. Satisfactory. Closure.
--------------------------------------------------
Micah and I are now in the final days of Not Being a Parent. Were there not a life to support in my belly, I might be inclined to get crazy. So far my weekend plans include seeing the second Elizabeth movie and...that's it. Oh wait, I'm making Eggs Benedict and Jalapeno Bacon wraps this weekend! I have been a cooking machine lately. I made lasagna, chicken stuffing casserole, and chili con queso in one day. I've heard women go a little nutty with the nesting in the final days. I've been acting positively domestic. Though I must say, it's a good warm-up for after the baby comes, because most of my life I've been a domestic slacker and now that I'll be home all day, I'll feel inclined to take on more of those responsibilities. Are your feminist hackles raising? Don't be alarmed. I actually like the idea of cooking, cleaning, baby-raising, and finishing school until I'm ready to go get a Real Job. One where answering the phone is not part of my job description.
Wish me luck. Kiss not-a-mom Gabby adieu.
Things I will be happy to be able to do again:
- Do dishes without soaking my entire front.
- Cook without soiling my entire front.
- HAHA I was just about to say "sleep through the night without waking to pee three times." I'm such a dumbass sometimes.
- Eat sushi. Lots of it.
- As much as I loathe admitting it, smoke a cigarette. I miss them. I hate that I miss them.
- GET KNEE-WALKIN' DRUNK. If that's even still possible. Most likely I'll just fall asleep.
- Have sex without thinking about a squashed baby or feeling like a squashed ham.
- Eat a tasty sandwich loaded with all kinds of dangerous deli meat!
- Bend at the waist.
- Shave properly.
- Live without the organ kicking. Shit hurts sometimes.
Things I will miss about being pregnant:
- Walking around without trying to suck in my belly. Letting it all hang out has been liberating.
- Using the Expectant Mother parking spot at the grocery store. They need them at Target. I think I'll write a letter.
- Thicker hair.
- The organ kicking. It's nice sometimes.
----------------------------------------------------
It's not 100% official, but it looks like Sasha will be born on Tuesday the 16th. My doctor would like to induce me, as long as everything looks good to go on my appointment on Monday.
Commence to freaking the fuck out!
When I was told I would have to have a c-section because she was breech (she's since turned, but I think you knew that) I had to get used to the idea that the relaxed, hippie birthing I'd been studying was not going to happen for me. I read up on epidurals so I felt more educated about the inevitable procedure. Now that I have a chance at natural birth again, I feel less tied to the pain-free concept. I am really going to give it my all and hold off as long as I can. If that ends up being the whole time, well fuck if I ain't woman, hear me roar. But if whatever methods I've been reading about aren't working so well, I will take the epidural and run with it. Or...be paralyzed by it. Whatever. I think the most important thing is that I don't have expectations because you know what they say about the best-laid plans.
Today is my last day at work. I will miss marking days off my calendar and getting paid to read blogs. Getting this job was fairly serendipitous for me, a lucky string of events that lead me to a job that pays a lot for what the duties actually are. Not that I'm rich, but I will definitely miss the money. But I am looking forward to not having anything to do but take care of my baby and maybe do some dishes.
Today I get to eat my last-day mint. Not long after I found out I was pregnant, I lifted my keyboard and found Baskin-Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip candy. I put it in my pen caddy thing and decided I would eat it on my last day here. I'm weird. After my boss retired I wasn't sure how long I'd be here, so it was kind of exciting - would I get to eat the mint soon? Weeks? Months? I'm so bored here, I participate in mental games with myself. So today, I get to eat the mint. I'll pop it in my mouth as I shut down my laptop for the time being (technically they can still call me for a few hours' work here and there until December) and then I'll suck happily on it while I pull out of the parking lot and head home. Or maybe I'll crunch the fuck out of it before I even get down the stairs.
Another oddity - my favorite work pen. I found this rather normal, unassuming pen in my desk drawer last year. I like the way the rubber on it feels a bit velvety, and the ink is just as smooth. It has no brand on it, it's been mysteriously rubbed off, so I can't search for more. There will never be another My Pen. Well, when I discovered how much I love this pen, I opened it to see how much ink was in it. Not much, maybe 1/3 full. How long would it last?! When would I have to throw it away?! Please lord, let it last me until I'm done here. And you know what? Creepily, it just ran out today. No shit. It's just so damn perfect. Satisfactory. Closure.
--------------------------------------------------
Micah and I are now in the final days of Not Being a Parent. Were there not a life to support in my belly, I might be inclined to get crazy. So far my weekend plans include seeing the second Elizabeth movie and...that's it. Oh wait, I'm making Eggs Benedict and Jalapeno Bacon wraps this weekend! I have been a cooking machine lately. I made lasagna, chicken stuffing casserole, and chili con queso in one day. I've heard women go a little nutty with the nesting in the final days. I've been acting positively domestic. Though I must say, it's a good warm-up for after the baby comes, because most of my life I've been a domestic slacker and now that I'll be home all day, I'll feel inclined to take on more of those responsibilities. Are your feminist hackles raising? Don't be alarmed. I actually like the idea of cooking, cleaning, baby-raising, and finishing school until I'm ready to go get a Real Job. One where answering the phone is not part of my job description.
Wish me luck. Kiss not-a-mom Gabby adieu.
10.03.2007
38 weeks
Holy motherfucking shit. Two more weeks. Do I have to stop saying things like holy motherfucking shit after I have a baby?
I see the doctor weekly. Yesterday she checked me and I'm 2 cm dialated. Before I left she said "see you in a week...if not before!" But 2 cm really isn't anything, and I haven't had anything resembling a contraction. I'm hoping she won't come this week because my parents are out of town. They're in Boston visiting my godfather, and they went with their best friends. My parents have such an awesome social life. My mom's best friend has been her best friend since kindergarten, and I can only hope to have such strong bonds with the same people into my 60s. I'm actually quite jealous of their ridiculously full social life. Lately mine has been lame at best. Is it weird that I thought people would start rallying around me during the last few weeks of pregnancy? People have been oddly quiet. Then again, I'm convinced half of my friends don't even like me anymore. But that could be the raging hormones speaking. Yelling, really.
It would be nice to go into labor on Monday, the 8th. Please send me lots of good juju for getting a jacuzzi tub birthing suite, as there are only two and they're first come, first serve. When I told my doctor how much I wanted one, she said "they're so messy." I'm not sure how to interpret that...messy because water sloshes everywhere? It's just water. Unless my water breaks in there, then...yes. Messy. Still want one, though.
My belly has officially "popped." I look pregnant, not just fat. My belly is really hard and enormous and you have no idea how hard it is to shave your legs in this condition. And I can only guess what the crotchal hair situation is looking like. Shaving by feel is not so effective. All I know is that I really must do my best to examine it and if needed, call Micah in for back-up. In who knows how many days, there will be a multitude of strangers looking at the 'jay and I'd rather not look like a crazed lumberjack did my grooming.
I finally gained some weight! After about 35 weeks of staying the same, I'm now up ten pounds in the last three weeks. The doctor says it's all baby, and after I give birth I'll weigh less than when I started. Sah-weet.
Now if I can just figure out how I'm going to finish this term at school. The final project (three 3-4 page papers) is due six days after my due date. Shall be interesting.
That's all I have for today. Back to waiting for something, anything to start moving down there.
I see the doctor weekly. Yesterday she checked me and I'm 2 cm dialated. Before I left she said "see you in a week...if not before!" But 2 cm really isn't anything, and I haven't had anything resembling a contraction. I'm hoping she won't come this week because my parents are out of town. They're in Boston visiting my godfather, and they went with their best friends. My parents have such an awesome social life. My mom's best friend has been her best friend since kindergarten, and I can only hope to have such strong bonds with the same people into my 60s. I'm actually quite jealous of their ridiculously full social life. Lately mine has been lame at best. Is it weird that I thought people would start rallying around me during the last few weeks of pregnancy? People have been oddly quiet. Then again, I'm convinced half of my friends don't even like me anymore. But that could be the raging hormones speaking. Yelling, really.
It would be nice to go into labor on Monday, the 8th. Please send me lots of good juju for getting a jacuzzi tub birthing suite, as there are only two and they're first come, first serve. When I told my doctor how much I wanted one, she said "they're so messy." I'm not sure how to interpret that...messy because water sloshes everywhere? It's just water. Unless my water breaks in there, then...yes. Messy. Still want one, though.
My belly has officially "popped." I look pregnant, not just fat. My belly is really hard and enormous and you have no idea how hard it is to shave your legs in this condition. And I can only guess what the crotchal hair situation is looking like. Shaving by feel is not so effective. All I know is that I really must do my best to examine it and if needed, call Micah in for back-up. In who knows how many days, there will be a multitude of strangers looking at the 'jay and I'd rather not look like a crazed lumberjack did my grooming.
I finally gained some weight! After about 35 weeks of staying the same, I'm now up ten pounds in the last three weeks. The doctor says it's all baby, and after I give birth I'll weigh less than when I started. Sah-weet.
Now if I can just figure out how I'm going to finish this term at school. The final project (three 3-4 page papers) is due six days after my due date. Shall be interesting.
That's all I have for today. Back to waiting for something, anything to start moving down there.
9.28.2007
update and some old stuff
So. Remember how I was telling you that if the baby hadn't turned around by Tuesday they were going to schedule a c-section for me? Well I'll be durned! She turned! No c-section for me unless some unexpected complication necessitates it. Now it's just a waiting game. 21 days until my due date (as if that really means anything...I could go at any time).
We toured the Labor & Delivery floors this weekend. The birthing suites have hardwood floors! Unfortunately I'm pretty sure you only spend enough time in this room to pop out your baby before you are whisked away to a less schmancy room. There are two rooms with jacuzzi tubs, and they're first come, first serve. I want one SO BAD. Please pray for me to go into labor during the middle of the night or something. I've heard jacuzzis are heaven for laboring. Oh God. I have to labor. Though I must say for some reason I'm a lot more open to laboring with an epidural.
Now, onto the old stuff!
I'm cleaning up my computer at work because I don't want to leave anything personal behind. There are some things I wrote that I never posted here or when I was doing regular stuff at Sevens. It seems like a waste to just delete them even though they aren't anything spectacular. Filler, if you will. Filler that is not about being pregnant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Betcha Didn’t Know
I’m a sucker for trivia. I like knowing things mostly unknown by the general public. Oh, twas a happy day when I discovered a stockpile of such trivia at imdb.com. In just about every entry in the database, there is a trivia section including little known facts about the movie, tv show, or documentary. Let’s get old school for a second, because the older the school, the greasier the grilled cheese sandwiches, and you’re a liar if you claim you didn’t eat them (and love them).
A few gems I betcha didn’t know about…
…Saved by the Bell:
- Jennie Garth auditioned for the role of Kelly Kapowski, as did Elizabeth Berkley, and though the producers thought both were wrong for the part, they like Elizabeth so much they created the role of Jesse just for her.
- Lisa Turtle was written as a white Jewish girl, but after meeting Lark Voorhies the producers changed their minds.
- SBTB was originally called “Good Morning, Miss Bliss,” back when they were all in middle school (remember Haley Mills?) and when they were developing the pilot they were considering casting Jaleel White, Jonathan Brandis, and Brian Austin Green. What’s with the 90210 cast theme?
- Mark Paul Gosselaar isn’t (and wasn’t) a blond. He dyed his hair every two weeks. Why do I feel cheated now that I know that?
…90210 (it was a natural progression):
- Deep breaths! Really! What I’m about to tell you is shocking. Dylan was only supposed to be on for two episodes. Obviously the producers felt the Earth move as millions of teenage girls swooned at once and decided Dylan was a keeper.
- The role of Valerie was offered to Alicia Silverstone, but she turned it down. Can you even imagine? She just doesn’t, and never did, have the bitch-tastic fortitude to play that role. Then again, who’d have guessed Kelly fucking Kapowski had it either?
- Tori Spelling wasn’t listed as part of the main cast in the pilot. I guess her daddy feared the nepotism backlash before it even began.
- Brandon Walsh is also Josh Brolin’s character’s name in The Goonies.
Honestly, I was hoping for more from imdb about 90210. What, no gossip about fighting amongst the cast? No juicy tidbits about the despicable Brenda Walsh? For shame! There was more trivia, but who really cares if the Walsh house changed locations after the pilot? Though in all fairness, perhaps this entire list falls under the Who Really Cares category.
…Family Ties:
- Michael J. Fox threw in the “P.” part of Alex P. Keaton in his audition, and the writers loved it. Fox almost didn’t get the part because NBC execs thought it wasn’t believable that Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross would have such a short son.
- The premise for the series came from the producer’s own experience of living a hippie lifestyle and then settling into suburban life with his wife and having children.
- The cast wanted the series to end with the entire family dying in a plane crash so that they’d never have to do a reunion show.
…The Facts of Life:
- was the longest running show with an all-female lead cast!
- the role of Tootie wasn’t written as an African-American, it just so happened that Kim Fields had the best audition.
- In the first season, there were seven main characters. By the second, they’d cut three girls (including Molly Ringwald) and decided to make the series focus on adolescent issues instead of fluffy humor.
- Blair was supposed to lose her virginity first, but Lisa Whelchel refused to participate because of her religious beliefs (she’s a total Jesus Crispy!*) so they had Natalie get some instead, giving hope to chubby chicks everywhere. It’s the only episode that Blair doesn’t appear in.
- Tootie was always wearing roller skates in the first season because it made her look taller (she was only nine and played a twelve-year-old).
- Nancy McKeon joined the cast in the second season only after proving she could act tough AND cry on cue. Who didn’t love Jo? Who couldn’t quite put their finger on why it was weird to see her with a boyfriend?
*If you’re not already familiar with the term Jesus Crispy, just imagine those people on the street that try to strike up normal conversations with you and then suddenly ask you if you’ve been saved and then get kind of mean and say “you’re going to hell if you don’t accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior!” when you walk away. They are Crispy because they are totally fucking burnt out on some Jesus.
…Growing Pains:
- Julie McCullough, who played Mike Seaver’s fiancée, was fired at Kirk’s request for posing in Playboy; he had a religious awakening between the 1989-1990 seasons and became a big fuckin’ prude. After his little awakening he became such a pest about removing all “adult” themes from Growing Pains that several writers quit the show.
- Kirk Cameron is a fucking tool. If I’d only known I wouldn’t have hung so many Tiger Beat pictures of him above my bed at summer camp. If I’d known there’s no way Kirk would feel me up if we ever met because of GOD I’d have replaced his mug on my wall with the much naughtier Johnny Depp, who was burnin’ up the screen in 21 Jump Street at the time. Anyway. Onward.
- Maura Tierney admitted to being fired from the show. I didn’t even know she was on it. Must go investigate. You do not fire Maura Tierney, aka The Only Reason to Continue Watching ER.
- Tracey Gold and the anorexia blah blah missed almost a whole season because of it yada wouldn’t even take a bite of pizza in the last episode of the series BLAH. Don’t know where this apathy comes from regarding Tracey Gold but all of a sudden I’m mad that I even looked Growing Pains up.
And finally, to redeem myself…
…Roseanne:
- Alicia Goranson (the original Becky) left the show to attend Vassar and study poetry. Sara Gilbert also left to attend college, but she was able to work around school. When Alicia came back for the ninth season Darlene says “Where the hell have you been?” when she walks into the kitchen.
- All of the exterior shots were filmed in Evansville, IN.
- Alicia requested a shorter hairstyle for Becky and the producers turned her down, so she went to Roseanne for help with her plight and Roseanne cut her hair off right then and there. (Alicia has a blog! How normal!)
- Corn, the vegetable, is mentioned or shown in every single episode in some form or another.
- All three of Roseanne’s husbands made guest appearances on the show.
- Tom Arnold hated one particular shirt that Roseanne wore, so much so that it never appeared on the show while they were married. After their divorce, it made an appearance in every episode, usually in the laundry. It was also used as a pattern for the apron Roseanne wore at the diner and on a poster in the diner as well. I’ve never noticed this Rooster and Egg shirt/pattern, but I’ll be looking for it now!
- The show’s original title was “Life and Stuff.”
- There was a naked picture of George Clooney on the Connor’s refrigerator for many years, his nether regions covered only by a pair of goggles, until it mysteriously disappeared one day. It was totally Crystal.
We toured the Labor & Delivery floors this weekend. The birthing suites have hardwood floors! Unfortunately I'm pretty sure you only spend enough time in this room to pop out your baby before you are whisked away to a less schmancy room. There are two rooms with jacuzzi tubs, and they're first come, first serve. I want one SO BAD. Please pray for me to go into labor during the middle of the night or something. I've heard jacuzzis are heaven for laboring. Oh God. I have to labor. Though I must say for some reason I'm a lot more open to laboring with an epidural.
Now, onto the old stuff!
I'm cleaning up my computer at work because I don't want to leave anything personal behind. There are some things I wrote that I never posted here or when I was doing regular stuff at Sevens. It seems like a waste to just delete them even though they aren't anything spectacular. Filler, if you will. Filler that is not about being pregnant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Betcha Didn’t Know
I’m a sucker for trivia. I like knowing things mostly unknown by the general public. Oh, twas a happy day when I discovered a stockpile of such trivia at imdb.com. In just about every entry in the database, there is a trivia section including little known facts about the movie, tv show, or documentary. Let’s get old school for a second, because the older the school, the greasier the grilled cheese sandwiches, and you’re a liar if you claim you didn’t eat them (and love them).
A few gems I betcha didn’t know about…
…Saved by the Bell:
- Jennie Garth auditioned for the role of Kelly Kapowski, as did Elizabeth Berkley, and though the producers thought both were wrong for the part, they like Elizabeth so much they created the role of Jesse just for her.
- Lisa Turtle was written as a white Jewish girl, but after meeting Lark Voorhies the producers changed their minds.
- SBTB was originally called “Good Morning, Miss Bliss,” back when they were all in middle school (remember Haley Mills?) and when they were developing the pilot they were considering casting Jaleel White, Jonathan Brandis, and Brian Austin Green. What’s with the 90210 cast theme?
- Mark Paul Gosselaar isn’t (and wasn’t) a blond. He dyed his hair every two weeks. Why do I feel cheated now that I know that?
…90210 (it was a natural progression):
- Deep breaths! Really! What I’m about to tell you is shocking. Dylan was only supposed to be on for two episodes. Obviously the producers felt the Earth move as millions of teenage girls swooned at once and decided Dylan was a keeper.
- The role of Valerie was offered to Alicia Silverstone, but she turned it down. Can you even imagine? She just doesn’t, and never did, have the bitch-tastic fortitude to play that role. Then again, who’d have guessed Kelly fucking Kapowski had it either?
- Tori Spelling wasn’t listed as part of the main cast in the pilot. I guess her daddy feared the nepotism backlash before it even began.
- Brandon Walsh is also Josh Brolin’s character’s name in The Goonies.
Honestly, I was hoping for more from imdb about 90210. What, no gossip about fighting amongst the cast? No juicy tidbits about the despicable Brenda Walsh? For shame! There was more trivia, but who really cares if the Walsh house changed locations after the pilot? Though in all fairness, perhaps this entire list falls under the Who Really Cares category.
…Family Ties:
- Michael J. Fox threw in the “P.” part of Alex P. Keaton in his audition, and the writers loved it. Fox almost didn’t get the part because NBC execs thought it wasn’t believable that Meredith Baxter and Michael Gross would have such a short son.
- The premise for the series came from the producer’s own experience of living a hippie lifestyle and then settling into suburban life with his wife and having children.
- The cast wanted the series to end with the entire family dying in a plane crash so that they’d never have to do a reunion show.
…The Facts of Life:
- was the longest running show with an all-female lead cast!
- the role of Tootie wasn’t written as an African-American, it just so happened that Kim Fields had the best audition.
- In the first season, there were seven main characters. By the second, they’d cut three girls (including Molly Ringwald) and decided to make the series focus on adolescent issues instead of fluffy humor.
- Blair was supposed to lose her virginity first, but Lisa Whelchel refused to participate because of her religious beliefs (she’s a total Jesus Crispy!*) so they had Natalie get some instead, giving hope to chubby chicks everywhere. It’s the only episode that Blair doesn’t appear in.
- Tootie was always wearing roller skates in the first season because it made her look taller (she was only nine and played a twelve-year-old).
- Nancy McKeon joined the cast in the second season only after proving she could act tough AND cry on cue. Who didn’t love Jo? Who couldn’t quite put their finger on why it was weird to see her with a boyfriend?
*If you’re not already familiar with the term Jesus Crispy, just imagine those people on the street that try to strike up normal conversations with you and then suddenly ask you if you’ve been saved and then get kind of mean and say “you’re going to hell if you don’t accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior!” when you walk away. They are Crispy because they are totally fucking burnt out on some Jesus.
…Growing Pains:
- Julie McCullough, who played Mike Seaver’s fiancée, was fired at Kirk’s request for posing in Playboy; he had a religious awakening between the 1989-1990 seasons and became a big fuckin’ prude. After his little awakening he became such a pest about removing all “adult” themes from Growing Pains that several writers quit the show.
- Kirk Cameron is a fucking tool. If I’d only known I wouldn’t have hung so many Tiger Beat pictures of him above my bed at summer camp. If I’d known there’s no way Kirk would feel me up if we ever met because of GOD I’d have replaced his mug on my wall with the much naughtier Johnny Depp, who was burnin’ up the screen in 21 Jump Street at the time. Anyway. Onward.
- Maura Tierney admitted to being fired from the show. I didn’t even know she was on it. Must go investigate. You do not fire Maura Tierney, aka The Only Reason to Continue Watching ER.
- Tracey Gold and the anorexia blah blah missed almost a whole season because of it yada wouldn’t even take a bite of pizza in the last episode of the series BLAH. Don’t know where this apathy comes from regarding Tracey Gold but all of a sudden I’m mad that I even looked Growing Pains up.
And finally, to redeem myself…
…Roseanne:
- Alicia Goranson (the original Becky) left the show to attend Vassar and study poetry. Sara Gilbert also left to attend college, but she was able to work around school. When Alicia came back for the ninth season Darlene says “Where the hell have you been?” when she walks into the kitchen.
- All of the exterior shots were filmed in Evansville, IN.
- Alicia requested a shorter hairstyle for Becky and the producers turned her down, so she went to Roseanne for help with her plight and Roseanne cut her hair off right then and there. (Alicia has a blog! How normal!)
- Corn, the vegetable, is mentioned or shown in every single episode in some form or another.
- All three of Roseanne’s husbands made guest appearances on the show.
- Tom Arnold hated one particular shirt that Roseanne wore, so much so that it never appeared on the show while they were married. After their divorce, it made an appearance in every episode, usually in the laundry. It was also used as a pattern for the apron Roseanne wore at the diner and on a poster in the diner as well. I’ve never noticed this Rooster and Egg shirt/pattern, but I’ll be looking for it now!
- The show’s original title was “Life and Stuff.”
- There was a naked picture of George Clooney on the Connor’s refrigerator for many years, his nether regions covered only by a pair of goggles, until it mysteriously disappeared one day. It was totally Crystal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
