Let's count them down, from worst to best. This does include some of Micah's new treasures.
10. A Jell-O mold. I have never molded Jell-O in my life, do you suppose it's fun? Do you suppose my mom has just GIVEN UP? I guess no longer being the baby of the family means I get stuck with all the stock gifts she buys for extended family.
(Please, let's not overlook the fact that these molds are indeed 3-D. The 2-D ones just don't come out right.)
9. Exhibit B: I am further relegated to the ranks of stock gifts. Ahem, broken stock gifts. Boy are you all lucky that I showed this candle now, meaning I can't surprise someone with it for the White Elephant exchange. You lucky bitches.
8. Apparently my mom doesn't want me to be struck by a moving vehicle and she wants me to be able to use my earrings for bait should I ever find myself fishing without worms. (Please excuse the poor picture, it's hard to photograph blindingly bright objects that resemble the colorful glisten of grease on a street.)
7. Mom! Stop with the hideous blankets! That sounds so terrible, but seriously. TEAL?! Couldn't she have matched the rust stripe instead? Once again she's made a blanket which can only be viewed on one side. (What, you do don't remember the cat blanket from last year?) I'm sorry, Micah. I...I...well, I have a mom who makes ugly blankets. Only the first year's were cute, and you weren't around then.
(What's really messed up is that this picture makes the teal look a lot more acceptable than it actually is. *shudder*)
6. Frango mints! Now we're getting somewhere. So yummy and so appropriate, considering they were the favors at our wedding reception. Except these have pink white chocolate coating and support breast cancer research! Thanks, cousin Lisa.
5. Magazines, dear magazines, how you excite and amuse me. My brother's girlfriend bought me two subscriptions! The gift that keeps on giving! Now if I can just learn to ignore the articles about how to get skinny where the model doing the poses is size -2. But don't you just love when InStyle goes into the celebrity's home for an interview? It's totally a sneak peak! Except all you're really looking at is the result of the celeb client saying to their decorator, "I like Rustic Mediterranean and Retro Mod. Here's 100 grand. Make it work."
4. A bottle of Kahlua for Micah and Baileys for Gabby. Because Mandy and Noel are all about gifts that rhyme with names. Such enablers, those two - giving us gifts that inspire drinking before noon. (No picture for this one, because we drank it all already.)(KIDDING! The batts ran out on the camera.)
3. You know what's really helpful? If you have a wedding gift registry still kicking out there in Targetland when Christmas comes so your exceedingly practical Aunt knows where to look. Behold, our new dishes. So square! So matchy! So ready for a dinner party! (After I wash off the styrofoam bits. I have an image to maintain.)
2. Wanna see what I got Micah for Christmas?
(It's a record player, lookin' all retro (the dial! mmm!) with a CD, cassette, and radio all up in there as well. He has a tall stack of records he hasn't heard for at least five years. This gift was a big hit. For the record -ha- old Ani mix tapes don't hold up so well. ) 1. But I think what he gave me tops everything. Behold, my gigantor comfy chair, the one that rocks, reclines, coddles, envelopes, tips back, and generally makes my body feel like a million lazy dollars:
So, what did you get? And when are you coming over to make Jell-O molds?
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