only 25% about being pregnant

Some things:

- Do you know who Paula Deen is? She has a cooking show on the Food Network. She is exactly you'd want your grandma to be (though I bet she'd want to be called Nan) with her luxurious comfort foods and a demeanor sweet enough to charm even the coldest of hearts. I dare you to watch her and not find yourself smiling ear to ear. She is so extremely Southern. When she says "y'all" (which is a lot) it sounds like "yow-well," with five syllables somehow worked in there, and she is always giggling like she's surrouded by her best Ya-Ya-ish friends. I bet her farts smell like peaches 'n cream. (And if you find yourself home during the day, try to watch the Barefoot Contessa right after (or before...? shit) Paula's show. I LOVE the Barefoot Contessa. She and her husband TOTALLY still do it.)

- Ever watch Samantha Brown's shows on the Travel Channel? At first I was all "who is this corny chick?" but then? After watching a few episodes? She's so cute and fun! And she stays in the coolest hotels, sometimes off the beaten track but usually they are expensive, hip, or historically relevant. I admit she wears pants that make me stare at her crotch. Weird. I feel terribly sorry for her that she gets sent to many wonderful places without a damn companion. Seriously, she must really get tired of that. I think it would be pretty funny if she had someone travel with her that was always next to her but never spoke, like Teller. They could just sort of pretend to be oblivious. It could work! Don't you think?

- Okay, I got through two topics without mentioning pregnancy and it was hard. It's sort of a life-consumer. My current Issue with pregnancy is that I can already feel a sense of it's all about being pregnant. My brother's girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday: "pregancy related baby stuff or Gabby stuff only?" I think we all know I said GABBY STUFF ONLY. Please. Let me maintain SOME sense of individuality while I can because in a handful of months I will barely have a name anymore. All the freckles will probably fall off my face, my tattoo will reshape itself into a pacifier and my boobs, well, they won't be mine or Micah's anymore. They'll be fucking TOOLS. In fact, that is what I will be come. A giant tool.

- Ever fall in love with a food? (What a dumb question.) I'm talking about a food relationship that honestly might just complete you. I know it's normal to go through stages with food. For about two years in high school all I drank at home was orange juice, which was a stage. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have begun a relationship with a food that I will be eating forever. PECANS, if you can believe it. Now, I have always loved pecan pie, which always tastes best if you're in a place where they call them pee-cans instead of pee-cahns. Pee-can pie is the best. But I wasn't a fan of just plain ol' pecans until recently. Micah's brother owns a quirky Native American souvenir shop. For some reason, he sells ginormous bags of "blown nuts." Yes, that's what the big yellow sticker says. Technically they are cracked and blown, meaning the shells are cracked and then the nuts are put in front of a strong fan that blows most of the shell away, but not all of it. The result is a very satisfying snack that you sort of have to work for, but working for it is definitely half the fun. Of course, it's always exciting to find a totally shell-free one. So when Micah first bought a bag of these I thought good lord, that's a big fucking bag of nuts! because who really ever needs more than a can of nuts? I'll tell you who. Blown pecan eaters. I'd say over the past year we've shared about 8 bags of nuts (they're sort of expensive, and Bob doesn't always have them when we visit). Well. A week ago I decided NEED BLOWN PECANS NOW. ME AND BABY NEED SOME MOTHER EFFING PECANS. But Bob lives an hour away so I had to wait until the weekend. As in yesterday. I am knee-deep in pecans and loving every second. If you don't eat pecans, what the fuck is wrong witcha? They taste like salty, buttery maple syrup!

- Did I really just go on an on about some goddamn NUTS? Pregnant. Leave me alone.

- Which is another mystery of being pregnant. Do I desperately want to maintain who I am and not be defined by what's growing in my abdomen? Yes. Do I pink fluffy heart LOVE that it has also made me sort of powerful? HELL YES. I feel like I can get away with just about anything which is not good. Not good because I was sort of selfish to begin with and...well, fuck. In October it's never going to be about me again so...maybe I won't feel so bad about letting the bitch flag fly!

- I'm going to go Google pecans + pregnancy. I bet they're all sortsa hella good.

- Did I mention I'm taking a grammar and editing class this term?

- Pecans help fight high cholesterol! A handful of pecans a day can greatly reduce your risk of heart disease! Pecans are high in protein, potassium, zinc, vitamin E, magnesium, and folic acid!

- I think I am starting to feel better. Quick! Knock on some wood! Shit! Did I just jinx it? Shit!