scary baby edition

Actual Suggestions From The Baby Name Book

Ragnfrid - (Norse) One who gives beautiful advice. She'd better do everything beautifully with a name like that.

Celery - (American) Refers to the refreshing and healthy food. What? No. Really. What?

Heart - (American) One who is romantic. Um, last time I checked, a heart is a blood-pumping organ. They could've even gone with something like "The internal drive to persevere." These fucking idiots.

I could go on, but maybe later. I think you get the point. The authors reeeeally had to stretch it to come up with 100,001 baby names. Really, wouldn't 50,000 have sufficed? You only need one, after all.

-------

This baby bunting fuhreaks me out.

Why?

1. That baby has flippers.

2. That baby has four flippers.

3. The lower flippers sort of look like adult-length arms with oven mitts on.

4. Consequently, the whole thing looks like an alien.
--------
Registering for baby things at the Giant Baby Store was sofuckingannoying on every level. Not only do I think it's highly presumptuous to put a $300 stroller/carseat combo on the list, I find testing the items and being forced to choose one much like how I imagine having pins driven under my nails would feel. That sentence was a mess, sorry. I just really can't imagine needing all that stuff, and I also don't like comparing the features of two similar items and trying to figure out why one costs $30 more than the other. I know I should feel grateful. I do. It's just annoying, okay? My favorite part was when, after twenty minutes of pushing around, testing, jabbing, and possibly kicking some strollers, a sales guy wandered over and asked if we had any questions. My mom tells him we're trying to decide if the more expensive one is really worth it (and when I say more expensive, there were strollers still hundreds of dollars more expensive than this one!) and the guy, who looked like a nineteen-year-old community college student, expounds on the features and gives us the most generic speech ever. By the time he's telling us why this color is so much more popular than this color (therefore more worthy!) I had had enough. "Sold!" I said, and scanned the fucking barcode already, just so he'd shut up and we could move on. By this point, we'd already been there for an hour and a half.
--------
I have taken to holding my belly when I'm out so people will know it's not just fat. Totally intentional. But then I realize it feels good, even if it makes me feel completely matronly, which is not something I'm terribly familiar with.
--------
Last post I mentioned that our baby will be five months old when LOST comes back on. I just realized she will be a ONE YEAR OLD by the time we've elected a new president. Holy shit. (They really started early, did they not? I fear for my already politically-weary soul.)