that was yesterday

Yesterday was terrible. Micah and I bickered nearly all day, and Sasha would only sleep in 30-minute spurts. I look forward to her regular 2-3 hour naps, as they provide me with opportunities to do extravagant things, like take a shower. We were all crabby all day long. I experienced a new low as far as handling stress. In a bitchy tizzy, unable to locate a cigarette, I stormed out of the apartment. I drove to the nearest 7-11 and bought cigarettes and a tall, solitary Lynchburg Lemonade. Then I parked in the park and slammed that motherfucker while sucking mightily on a cigarette and listening to angry music. Once my attitude was fully adjusted I went home. I was embarrassed and hugged the baby tightly. Things got easier. But I didn't really get over it until we went to visit Micah's sister Brenda. His brother Curte lives in her basement, so we frequently split up when we visit. I stay upstairs with the baby and Brenda, and Micah and Curte smoke cigarettes and drink beer in the basement. Lately it is the only time we get apart from one another.

Brenda is quite a character, and she's become the older sister I never had. She's 49, menopausal, divorced, and every bit a Leo - fiery, independent, and proud. She has frequent hot flashes and carries a bottomless glass of wine. She's deaf in one ear, has a slight speech impediment, and speaks at a higher decibel than the rest of us. She adores the baby, and because she never had any kids of her own, she relishes every opportunity to hold her, cluck at her, and tell her she's the prettiest baby in the world. When her extremely intelligent and animated pug Henny Penny starts barking at the television, Brenda half-heartedly tells the dog to shut up. She's hoping Penny will wake up the baby, because Sasha just isn't any fun when she's asleep.

Brenda knows Micah better than anyone, except maybe Curte. After Micah's mother died when he was four, Brenda stepped in and treated Micah like her own. She was married at the time but considered her husband such a baby that she thought it wise not to have any actual babies with him. So Micah spent a lot of time with them, and they filled each other's voids. They took him to Disney World. He stayed with them when he wasn't getting along with his dad. When he was sixteen, they hired him at their small concrete company and tought him all the skills he'd need to be the valued concrete worker he is today. Because Brenda knows Micah so well, she is the perfect ear when I'm frustrated with him. So last night I sat at her kitchen table and drank wine with her, letting all the dirty details of the day bounce off of her. Since she's a little deaf I never know if she's picking up exactly what I'm saying, but she always gets the gyst of it. She does most of the talking, which is usually fine with me. We compare our road-rage tendencies. She asks me to help her put music on her computer because she'd really like to get a HiPod. (I am too amused by this error to correct her.) She often speaks in complete paragraphs, even when it's just her and Penny in the room.

"Henny Penny! Do you want some Dr. Pepper? Here. Here's the cup. Oh you don't want it? Is it flat? Don't be a brat, have some. There. See? It's still good. Ok, Henny Penny, we need to empty the dishwasher. Then I need to smoke. Oh, let's smoke first. Wanna go outside? Hmm? Gabby? You need a Dr. Pepper?"

Brenda turned her neat-freak tendencies into an income. She's a self-employed cleaning lady for some rich folks around town. She doesn't just clean, she does whatever needs to be done, such as put up Christmas trees and clean up after parties. She seems to genuinely enjoy the work, and her clients are constantly giving her things they don't want or need anymore. Some of these gifts are bestowed upon us, like a fabulous wooden bunkbed and a decidedly unfabulous gold lamp. Last year Brenda was given a parrot named Maggie. Maggie scares me, but only because she really seems to enjoy Micah. I'm pretty sure she wants to have his babies and hates me because I beat her to it. She likes to climb up on Micah's shoulder and whisper in his ear. Yes, whisper. Apparently she says "watch it!" and "gotcha!" and has even told Micah she loves him. She nestles her head in his hair, right behind his ear, and climbs into the hood on his sweatshirt. This behavior intimidates me, especially after Brenda demonstrated how jealous and territorial Maggie can be. Brenda tried to get close to Micah and Maggie, dancing frantically on his shoulder, snapped her beak at Brenda's face and only missed because Brenda moved in time. The bird is terribly keen, so I try not to make eye contact because I think she'll take it as a challenge. She wants my man, and might decide to peck me to death. I tell her she's pretty a lot.
A half an hour with Brenda will set your mood straight. It's impossible not to be charmed by her. Eventually she will get you to have a glass of wine, or settle into her big leather couch and watch tv, or take this ugly gold lamp, or whatever it is you're resisting. Her reasons are always better than yours.

Everyone needs a Brenda. I know she'll be a person Sasha is always excited to see, and she'll always come with a story after hanging out with Aunt Brenda, who said Sasha can call her Sissy if she wants, just like Micah did when he was a baby.

Sasha, by the way, is doing just wonderfully. Except for shittastic days like yesterday, she's a gem, a doll, a peach. I'm learning her language a bit better, evaluating her moods more accurately. She eats her hands all the time and recently learned how to roll onto her side. She makes noises galore, including a charming coo and an alarming grunt (mostly gas related). She heaves her body to and fro, so you really have to keep all hands on deck when she's on your lap. I love her more and more every second, and secretly think she's far more adorable than any baby we've seen lately. Or maybe not so secretly.

I'll try to get back to posting on Wednesdays, and I promise I'll post some pictures next time.