ahhhh (the worst title ever)

Those fucking dots were too much! I might end up disliking the minimalist look to this particular template, but for now it's a welcome change.

It's like rearranging the furniture, which I've been known to spearhead on countless occasions. I honestly don't know why more people don't do it. Some never do it, but I suggest at least once a year - I think I'm on a six-month schedule myself. It's like a brand new apartment every time! When I was younger I did this to my bedroom (since I had no say over the living room, which, trust me, I tried and tried to get my mom to rearrange and she wouldn't) which resulted in a 3-poster bed and a gigantic wooden wardrobe crashing down on me. Because I can move anything, and I've always known that. ANYTHING! With a few tried and true tricks, you too can move anything:

1) It's always easier to pull than to push, because when you push (especially something tall) you force the top of the thing to lean over the bottom, creating an unbalanced situation that usually results in something breaking. Really bad with bookcases. When you pull, you usually grab lower, which keeps the thing on it's center of gravity. Get down to the base of the thing.
2) Put socks under each corner of the heavy stuff for KY Jelly-like slideability. Also keeps stuff from scratching your floor all the fuck up.
3) Take frequent smoke breaks. This will allow you to survey the progress and rethink things. (Warning: it will also force you freak the fuck out for a second because you're losing energy and if you don't get the tv and cable set up before Hell's Kitchen comes on...crap, what did I get myself into??)
4) UNLOAD whatever it is you're moving, if it's a bookshelf or desk or whatever. It'll force you to notice all the nasty dust and it gives you an opportunity to rearrange your tchotchkes.
5) Get a pad of paper and draw the outline of your room on several sheets of paper. On each piece, draw your furniture arranged in a different way. It'll help you decide where to move what.
6) DON'T BE AFRAID! Rearranging furniture can seem daunting. Not only do you own some heavy shit, moving that shit can consume an entire afternoon, what with all the planning, unplugging, unloading, pulling, shoving, and dust bunny removal (more like dust doggies in my apartment), and restocking.
7) I'm really not sure why I felt the need to make this list. Surely you are capable of moving furniture without my advice. I'M BORED. MY BLOG.
8) Finally, don't be afraid to do something a little weird with the furniture. Put your couch in the middle of the living room (that's why they make "couch tables") or put it at an angle along a wall. Rotate your carpet off-center. You know, jazz it up a bit. If it's totally horrendo you can always change it back.

And that's how you rearrange your furniture. I apologize if I have sufficiently caused you great boredom. WELCOME TO MY WORLD.