oh no you did not

So where was I? Baby names! There is no shortage of baby name resources on the internet. Some sites are great. Others...let's just say when the site is mostly driven by the "Add a name!" feature...they are begging for Crazy. And Crazy is what they get. My search for a cute baby name suddenly became a search for the most Crazy, at least on this particular site.

This is what happens when vowels are allowed to run amok. I promise I didn't make any of these up. But someone else obviously did. Have they no shame.

What I will NOT be naming my child:

Ayricka
Alicealeigh
Angelstarfyre
Brookelynn
Byronica
Breoshanae
Chantalice
Cynnamon
Dangerosa
Davenity
Dazzaray ("it's just a pretty name" is the description the sender-inner wrote. Most do not have descriptions, as it is clear even to the offenders that they are just pulling these out of their vowel-happy asses)
Deianeira
Dezahara
Dionynshia
Ece
Emmeleigh (Emily? Anyone? Hello?)
Enellra
Fenollosia
Glorivette
Gulchehra
Heavenleigh
Issariyahnah
Itzcallie (so, what you'd name your baby? Itzcallie. Aww, Callie! That's cute! No. Itzcallie. That's what I said.)
Jaeleigh
Jamanda
Jewleigha (I hope this is a joke.)
Katrynncia
Keandreanna
Kortknee
Launijana (did you not think "marijuana" at first glance?)
Leajenique
Ludiclaire
Malayshia (naming kids after third world countries but adding a letter to disguise it? all the rage.)
Mandorallyn
Maryannabelle (pick ONE. ONE!)
Nunavut
Nutan
Onyxia
Oravee (totally sounds like a toothpaste)
Paisleigh (I've 'bout had it with all the "leigh" bastardization)
Patheka
Psyrenity ("Her name is Serenity. But, like, with a "p." You know, a "p"...like in...psychology.")
Quirsten
Remembrance
Revalation (at least fucking spell it right.)
Rockalina (how very punk)
Shadonna
Shampaigne (at least FUCKING spell it RIGHT.)
Stormi
Tangelina
Taydence
Tykayla
Unique
Ureeka
Vesselina
Vilka
Whissper
Wiski (these are my twins Wiski and Vodkah!)
Wyleigh (and so it continues)
Xaiylah
Xyffra
Yoshabelle
Yshca
Zaeleigh (and so it ends)

I'm sort of afraid to put a list of names I AM considering, because that will give you tons of time to judge and tell me stories of people who have ruined that name. I will say I have a penchant for old-fashioned names like Mabel. I don't care so much about it being a surprise - hell, I already have the boy name picked out and I haven't been shy about it - but a girl? I dunno. Is it weird that I find it more important? If it's a boy it'll be Henry William. Possibly. Don't hold me to it. I think Henry is just about the cutest, most respectable name a little boy can grow into a man with. Mannwich. Mmm...sloppy joes sound good.