week 8: I love you, I hate you, I wanna eat you

Well. I have a half a mind to announce that pregnancy is for the birds. Then again, when I feel good, I feel great. But when I want to barf? Or if I'm even a little bit hungry? I feel totally miserable. And I know that's normal. In fact, they say that not having morning sickness is not a good sign.

The thing is? This morning was the first time I actually puked, and I made myself do it. I'm not now nor have I ever been bulemic, but I do know how to make myself puke and I'm not afraid to do it. Bring on that sweet relief, I say. Take control of your nausea. Don't let it run your life!

At first the nausea only happened when I had nothing in my stomach. On Saturday Micah took me out to breakfast, the diner kind, and on the way home (I wasn't driving - big mistake - I'm a carsicker) for the first time with a full belly, I wanted to hurl all over the place. My head hung out the window like a damn dog all the way home. I blame the greasy hash browns. But this morning I had Cinnamon Spice oatmeal, an orange, and a handful of Craisins. So nice and healthy. My body wanted nothing to do with it. Interestingly enough, as soon as I puked I made a pb & j and ate that without a problem. Let me tell you, it is SO WEIRD to be pregnant. I'm all frikakta.

And here's where it goes all over the place.

Beef, steak, and Taco Bell: you are on notice. I hate you. But maybe I also love you? Because while I wanted to puke while looking at Micah's steak omelette, I also devoured 1/2 of his Philly Cheese Steak sandwich later that same day. And poor Taco Bell - once hailed as my favorite fast food joint, I now shudder at the mere mention.

Hello, sex! How you doin'? There's all kinds of extra blood flowing down under, which makes it really fantastic and it totally melts me. When it actually happens. Between getting up at 6:00 to take the dog out and getting tired at 8:00, it's hard to find time to git 'er done. And sometimes I am so fantastically bitchy that Micah knows not to even try.

Speaking of bitchy. Can we talk mood swings? One minute I want to cut off both of the penises in the house, burn them a little, then hang them on the front door as a warning. The next minute I want every creature cuddled in the bed with me, an impossibility considering one cat wants to claw the dog's eyeballs out. I love my husband! I HATE MY HUSBAND. GO AWAY. No, baby, come back. I love you. Do you know you are SO HOT? Let's do it.

So basically, I feel like a crazy person. All the time. If I hate something one second I will no doubt love it the next. I have read that this type of craziness could last all nine months.

FRUUUUIT. I love you, fruit. Wanna make out? Maybe we should get all orgy about it and bring in the sorbet. Yeahhh. That's the ticket.

Though I do think it's a bit early to discuss it, I can't stop thinking about baby names. Would you be disgusted if I told you that I've had a list of baby names on my computer for like a year? It's important. Very. And I'd love to hear your suggestions. Seriously! Just don't cry when I don't pick yours. But what if I picked yours? You'd feel so goddamn special, no? I would know - my one friend who is already a mom picked my suggestion. So don't be shy.

I've only known I'm pregnant for one week. It feels like so much longer. In fact, time in general seemed to slow down when I found out.

And on Friday when Micah brought home a gift from his boss's wife, it really, really sank in. Our first baby gift. Two adorable yellow outfits. Entirely too soon for a gift like that, but you know it made me cry anyway.

Now. Dig me up some baby names.