4.12.2007

week 14: hey there, 2nd trimester

Yay! I'm officially out of the first trimester! (Though I'm 14 weeks pregnant, technically the baby is 12 weeks along because they count you pregnant from the first day of your last period, not from when you ovulated and conceived two weeks later.)

There's got to be some sort of shift in this appetite bullshit soon. I've had a few barfing episodes in the past week, both of the projectile variety. Once was after a nice lunch out with my aunt, which really sucks. Even though she saw me practically run to the bathroom I had to lie to her and tell her "false alarm!" even though after we both drove away from the restaurant I noticed I had a chunk of barf on my sweater. I really hope she didn't notice. She's such a gentle bird of a thing that I don't want her to imagine me yakking up the delish salad she just bought for me.

Most women say that the nausea and stunted eating habits start to chill out when the second trimester starts. Other women say they stayed nauseous all nine months. Um. No.

Lately I've had a major problem with my appetite: I don't have one. The only time I feel like eating is during the morning hours, and when I'm at work I'm usually woefully under prepared for this hunger. I try to bring food from home but for some reason I never bring the right things (for instance pudding, yogurt, and cheese when for fuck's sake I need CRUNCH) or I simply don't bring enough. And part of that problem has to do with the fact that the grocery store is my nemesis and I find it really hard to think ahead when I'm shopping. I have always hated grocery shopping. Not sure why. So it's been extremely difficult for me lately because of the no-appetite/constant nausea thing. Micah and I generally trade off going, and thankfully it's all him this time. All I have to do is think of a few specific things I want and he'll handle the rest. Over the past year I got into a habit of making dinner every night, something I really enjoyed, but it's definitely fallen by the wayside because if I can't imagine eating it I sure as hell don't want to buy it or god forbid cook it.

I have been eating very, very little. I can still fit into all of my pants with room to spare, which is sort of scary when, you know, there's a fucking baby in there trying to grow. Or is it? It scares me. Tight pants would be nice right about now because then I'd know for sure that the bean is growing. Then again, I've been instructed by my doctor to try to limit my weight gain to twenty pounds for the whole pregnancy. I guess losing/maintaining right now will help me later on. But it's not like I have a choice. I really don't ever feel like eating. Truly a bizarre concept to me. (Though I will always maintain that the true culprit of my weight problem is severe laziness and not necessarily eating too much.)

Right now I really, REALLY want cucumbers drenched in red wine vinegar. Funny, I always want things that aren't convenient at all. Think my coworkers would notice if I slipped away to the store for a bit? They probably wouldn't. This place is like a morgue and my boss's door is usually shut.

I guess the giant dill pickle in the fridge will have to do, but it's just not...perfect. And my appetite is such lately that I really do need the "perfect" thing in order to want to eat at all.

Oh, October. You're such a long way off, you delightfully autumnal bitch.

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