bits and pieces

This morning when I was driving to work I heard "For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel on the radio and it triggered a major bout of misty nostalgia. I hadn't heard that song, well, for the longest time. It immediately made me feel 4 years old again; it was probably one of the first songs I memorized and sang along to. My dad would listen to Billy Joel all the time, and I remember very clearly sitting shotgun in his green VW station wagon listening to this song while he drove me to school. I've always been weirded out by the brain and how it retains song lyrics forever, because I really felt like I hadn't heard that song since I was 5, but I knew every word. It was awesome. And as I said, misty. I was getting all teary and thinking of my dad and his condition and I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that I'm losing him. FUN! I know I should be grateful for ever having him at all.

MMKAY!

I am staging an intervention on myself.

I just erased about 9 inches of some depressing fucking shit about my dad my mom her health status my aunt's assertion that since my dad is LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU that it's my job to make sure EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT at the hospital and AAAAAH!! CHRIST!

I just can't do it, the inch upon inch of sadness that I've already hashed out on the phone with several unsuspecting friends. It's boring, melodramatic, self-indulgent...GET A GRIP, GABBY! A FIRM ONE! This is NOT the time to go all PANSY!

I just...well, don't you have moments where it feels like you're in a canoe treading water at the top of a gigantic waterfall, using all your muscles to keep yourself on top, dreading the moment (which is inevitable, you're not superhuman) when your muscles give out?

Yeah.

But then, so much is right in my life right now. Micah? Wonderful, et al. School? Can I just say? I LOVE IT. Ok, so yeah, I'm only in the first week, the easy-like-Sunday-mornin' week. But I honestly believe I have found the perfect learning forum. Since I'm on the internet, oh, 9 hours a day (holy shit, dude, that's too much) I am completely addicted to going into the classroom discussion threads to see if if anyone has responded to my reading response questions. I got good and GIDDY this morning when I saw the professor had responded to my response with another question, so obviously impressed with me, and you know what? When I caught myself realizing I want to be teacher's pet? I embraced it. Teacher's pets get the motherfucking grades, ya know? Okay, I also realized the people in my class can't write worth a damn and that simply having good grammar and a somewhat expanded vocabularly can make you look like a genius if it's right above someone who writes like this:

. Regarding global warnings It think this could be useful the study of combustion chambers used in power plants could stop pollutants . The universial authenication is much needed to protect privacy from all the preditors . I think all the new technologies in place have their pro's and con's I think along the lines of health cloning is wrong and appose that ,I feel a monster would be created .

And for the trillionth time I'm reminded that though the environment wasn't the healthiest for self-esteem, self-expression, or anything else positive for the self, our high school did teach us how to write coherently. There's that.

And when I was reading "Introduction to Web Design" and saw all the HTML stuff? TOTALLY NOT SCARED. In fact, excited. They're teaching me something I desperately want to know, and I'm pretty sure that's never happened before, except maybe that Human Sexuality class I took at the community college.

What was the best/most useful class you ever took?