meet the Gabbys. plural.

Because I haven't in awhile, I just googled myself. All that came up were a couple boring articles I wrote for the Fontbonne newspaper while I was there. Then I googled "Gabby" without my last name, and hooo boy, did I have a good (and horrified) laugh!

Let the Gabbing begin:








First, this chain of restaurants in Toronto called Gabby's. Aren't you jealous that you don't have a cheesy, Applebee's-type chain with your name all over it? Ooh they probably have ginormous alcoholic bevies called Gabbaritas and Gabby on the Beach. And that is some major history, people. They've been slingin' overpriced chicken fingers since 1989!!

Next, a delightful musician named Gabby La La, based in San Francisco:


See, doesn't she look like fun? She plays the sitar, accordian, toy piano, and ukelele(!) fer chrissakes! And she was involved with the incredibly cool-sounding Dakah Hip Hop Orchestra. A snippet from her online journal:
I am almost done with the last inner ear section. I think the head is too big!! soon, hopefully today, I will assemble everything and hopefully it will look like a real bunny!
(that she is knitting, apparently, but before I scrolled down I thought ooooh we've got a live one, y'all! no seriously, though, this chick seems pretty rad.)

Not so rad: Crabby Gabby's Primitive Black Doll. Check out the close up of the face. WOULD YOU EVER give your baby a doll like that, you sick fuck? The doll's name is Belindy, but feel free to rename her Fuglette!

What else do we have here...

Gabby Pahinui, a musician from Hawaii, greatly respected and no longer living. I like when I find male Gabbys. Interesting and strange. Also, Gabby Hayes, American actor, who was in 192 movies, most of them Westerns. He looks like someone that might know a few dirty jokes.


Ok, the next couple bug me out a bit...

















we don't live in a disposable world? WE DON'T?!? Nice cleav, Mom. And are you sure your baby's not drowning? Aren't babies supposed to float? You pushed him under there for the shot, didn't you?

Also:
Fabby Gabby's Froo Froos.
This is the Special of the Month, the Pink Marshmallow Froo Froo:


















And this is a needle in my eye.
Did I ever enjoy shit like that? I don't think I want girls anymore. And when I end up having 5 girls and they all prance around in tu-tus, or rather, froo froos (because you know I'll remember Fabby Gabby and patronize her later) please don't mock me or ask me where the needle is now.

Yes, yes, y'all:





That would be Gabby's, "A Great Little Honky Tonk." There are no two words more fun than Honky and Tonk. Put 'em together and you've got magic. This place is in British Columbia. Canadians must LOVE their Gabbys! Obviously I should move.

This is a band called Gabby Johnson that I will not be listening to:














They look all cute and harmless and granted, they were kind enough to add my name, but their tour dates involve places strictly within the confines of Florida and Texas and they pretty much go off on Michael Moore, so, you know, peace out. I'm sure they rock the socks off the local Seymour Frog's. I kinda feel like my name has been taken in vain, what with all the liberal-hating, poop-catching, dead doll-making things going on here!

Thankfully, we can end on a good note. Meet Gabby Day, professional cyclist:

Rawr! Can we all agree she saved the Gabbys? Or did I do that? Oh Me, you're such a card!